XOXO: Valentine’s Day Perspective

Valentine’s Day is here, and while many of us dream of chocolates, roses, and romantic getaways, if we’re not careful, the only thing we might get is a dose of disappointment and heartache.  Whether we are single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day can be stressful.  40% of people surveyed say they have negative feelings towards the day, so if you do too, you are far from alone!  Below is a Valentine’s Day Survival Guide to help you navigate the day so you are able to move beyond any negative feelings and enjoy it.

PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE…

Ask yourself what this holiday really means to you.  Just remember that since we were young, advertisers have shaped our concept of Valentine’s Day.  We have been inundated with images of cupids, fancy dinners, wines, sunsets, and diamonds, and all this visual conditioning has created an expectation of what should be.  That formula has worked for marketers. Valentine Day generates more money in retail sales each year.  With that in mind, do some digging on what this day really means to you.  Discover what you truly value and come up with your own definition of the significance of Valentine’s Day.

IF YOU’RE SINGLE…

Sad? Snap out of it!  If you’re single this year, its time to appreciate what you’ve got!  Being single on Valentine’s Day is not a sure sign that you are doomed to be alone for the rest of your life.  Re-frame the situation.  Look at the advantages of being single, and how you can grow and develop yourself for the future.  Make a list of all the advantages, and truly savour those reasons because before too long, you could find yourself in a relationship.

Make the holiday about others. Instead of focusing on you and all that you think you’re missing in your life, make this holiday about others.

 Research shows that when we do something nice for others, we get a bigger boost in happiness and life satisfaction than when we do something nice for ourselves. 

 Try giving your close friends, roommates, colleagues Valentine’s Day gifts or cards each expressing what makes that person special to you. Make this Valentine’s Day better by doing something thoughtful for them.

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IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP …

Remember what Valentine’s Day is not.  This day is not a test of someone’s love.  It is not a way to check if your partner can read your mind.

Use the day to strengthen your relationship.  Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to take stock of the past year, and reconnect with your partner.  Take some time to reflect on what makes your relationship special.

Keep communication open.  Since your partner cannot read your mind, if you have certain reasonable expectations about what you’d like to happen this day – gently communicate them to your partner.  Also, make sure to ask what they might want. This conversation could spark the start of some new traditions for the two of you.

Give a personalized gift from the heart.  More than anything, your partner wants to feel loved and appreciated. If the two of you are exchanging presents, give a thoughtful gift that shows you have really been paying attention to your partner’s needs and wishes. Often better than giving a material item is to plan a shared experience, such as a night out to chat or a dinner at a special restaurant.  The experience builds positive memories, which both of you will always share.

This post features Michelle G.

How do you plan on spending Valentine’s Day? or How are you spending it already? Tell me in the comments. 

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