Be My Valentine

With Valentine’s Day being today, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk about love and relationship. I will admit that chocolate is my personal favorite. So deep is my affection for chocolate, that I would prefer a box of Gold Tree Chocolate to . I know, I know, some may call it crazy, but it’s true.  .

I think it is fair to say that we also appreciate when our mates take the time, energy, and effort find a high quality gift. Luckily for us, quality is more subjective and depends largely on the individual.

Relationships are a lot healthier if you do more than just “show up.”

We are driven to make meaning in our lives; we are able to self-reflect and self-evaluate our progress in life; and we are highly social creatures who seek relationships with others.

To be truly happy in life, we must have healthy relationships; we are only able to flourish if there are others in our lives for whom we care. It is not enough simply to know the faces or the names of your neighbors, lab group mates, or colleagues. We must endeavor to connect and bond with others.Healthy relationships are the glue that often keeps us – or our worlds – from falling apart.

Most of us must believe that we  matter to others in order to truly matter to ourselves. Active engagement – not passive observation – produces joy. 

We must engage actively in the world around us to enjoy all of the fruits it has to offer. Sure, there may be some “freebies” along the way, but to reap the sweetest rewards, we must invest some hard work. Moreover, relationships – even good ones – require a fair amount of that work.

What work does a relationship require to guarantee its stability and ensure that it flourishes? Six attributes that a healthy relationship must possess:

1. Meaning must be derived from the relationship. While there may be fans of “catch and release” hook-up relationships, if a relationship is going to grow, it must provide a deeper sense of meaning, not just be a means to temporarily gratify your sensual desires.
2. Personal growth is actively engaging partners in mutually rewarding relationships. Not only do you grow as a couple, you also will grow as a person in a healthy relationship.
3. Goals will arise naturally when a relationship grows into a deeper union of two independent individuals. There’s a huge difference between dependency and interdependence, however; without interdependence and shared goals, the couple won’t be able to generate the identity through which the best of both individuals can be developed.
4. Relationships requires that partners give back and willingly accept from one another. If only one member of a relationship is willing to yield over time, the potential for long-term commitment withers.
5. Expression of our true natures is also vital. If we are unable to be authentic and honest with our partners, our relationships will never deepen into healthy, substantial connections. Healthy relationships allow partners the safety of risking naked honesty.
6. Deep engagement in life and the world around you are refreshing rewards to be found in meaningful, healthy relationships. Most people can relate to that sense of wonder and awe that new love can offer: Every experience with your new partner can seem like the first time that anyone has experienced what you two do. Food tastes better, the sky is bluer, the grass is greener  – whatever the season, it’s the best you’ve ever enjoyed.

With all this in mind, regardless of what you may get for your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day, you can hardly go wrong by putting some time, effort, and energy into choosing just the right gift. Oh, and if you don’t have one yet: Be My Valentine.

Love is the most precious gift of the Lord to humans. However, we all need to understand that love is different from infatuation and attraction. Only then, will we be able to live a happy life with ‘our loved ones’.